Everything In-between

Stop trying to predict the future and skipping steps. Enjoy the journey!

Nothing like deep conversations with friends that go on for hours about your dreams and aspirations.

I once listened to a podcast on anxiety and depression. Two of the most prevalent mental health disorders to date. The cause for both is often a combination of biology and environmental reasons. We can narrow it down to the neurotransmitter releases etc., but this isn't a scientific journal. Essentially from a psychological standpoint, people are depressed when they can't let go of the past, and people are anxious when they don't have control over the future.

But what about what's between? The present.

The past made you who you are today, and the future is still in your hands depending on what you make of the present. We don't choose the life we're born into, but what we do with it can make all the difference.

I never get tired of looking at the views on a plane ride.

This past summer, I started watching (and finished) a guilty pleasure show: Vampire Diaries. Now, I'll explain the relevance this has to my topic.

Damon. Maybe you've heard of this character? Maybe not? He's kind of the face of Vampire Diaries. I'll do my best not to spoil the show by the way if you do ever watch it!

Damon appears on the show at the very end of episode 1 in season 1. So in my mind, he's an annoying antagonist. Your resident bad boy. The best thing about him though is that he fully accepts the role as the "bad guy" and often refers to himself as such. He understands that the story cannot progress if there is no conflict, and he willingly lets himself be the guy we love to hate and grow to love.

It's character development. Without me spoiling the whole show, Damon was the dark horse we never expected, because by season 2, I was rooting for him. I wanted to believe that he had good in him, and that he would change for the better. I wanted him to get the girl. It was so conflicting, because I didn't want to like his character so much, but I did. He's complex. He's not perfect. He makes mistakes (a lot) over the course of the entire series. Yes, he does kill a lot of people (number 1 reason I didn't like him at first). Someone explained to me later that, yes, it's murder, but consider that humans are food for him (he's a vampire if that wasn't obvious btw) just like we (unless you're vegan or vegetarian) eat fish, chicken, cows, goats, etc.

I think Vampire Diaries is actually the story of Damon and his redemption. He's the real main character. Everything in-between in the story was crucial for him to become one of the most beloved characters on the show. Not to mention props to the actor for portraying his character so well.

What I really took out of his character was how he accepted himself. Flaws and all. His past didn't define him, and his present shaped the future he ended up having. He wasn't insecure, because he fully understood who he was. He was never anything but himself. Often, I feel that people in general live under restrictions they put on themselves. Maybe we don't want to do something because of what people will think of us? Maybe we live in fear of failing or being a fool when we need to be vulnerable? We all have different motivations that shape the decisions we make. It's important to be honest with yourself in knowing why you think or do something and not to judge yourself for that. It's human. To be human is truly beautiful.

Flowers found on a hike in Austin.

Alright one more tv show character to emphasise why the journey is so important...

Jane the Virgin. Such a relatable show for me honestly. You follow the story of a strong, female lead who is a romantic at heart. Sound familiar?

She is a bit of a control freak and has her whole life planned out, but of course, life does not work out as she hoped. Throughout the course of the story, with each twist and turn, not only does she mature, let go of control, and build resilience, but so do those around her. If humanity was stagnant, we would have died out a lot time ago. Change and development is necessary to survive.

The true love of her life doesn't even end up with her until he grows up on his own too. Which by the way happens a lot in movies and tv shows when two people are meant to be together. They always find their ways back to each other even if it takes a while (i.e. multiple seasons). If that doesn't give you some hope in love, I guess you'll just have to see it to believe it!

The point is, the wait is worth the ending. Maybe we hate some endings and love others, but we feel so much for the outcome, because of what happened in-between. It's not so much about the celebration at the end as much as it is about what happened to get to that point.

Good food is best shared with great company.

No matter where you are in life, take a moment and look around you. Look, look at how far you've come. Life is not easy, and to stand here or sit and be reading my blog, because you can is quite an accomplishment.

There are some story lines that I have noticed the author forgets to develop or drops off in the middle of the main arc, and honestly, I have no attachment for those side characters that are lost. Other times well thought-out side characters become some of my favourite people, only because the author takes the time to develop their story.

J'ai quitté mon coeur a Chicago.

Rome wasn't built in a day. We do not graduate in a day. Love does not develop in 3 seconds.

Enjoy the journey. Take it day by day. Each day, you are closer to where you want to be. If it's meant to be, it really will happen. Hope is the one good thing that came out of Pandora's box, so hold onto it. Life is magical in its own way, so trust that process. It sounds cryptic, but look back and tell me there wasn't some sort of weird coincidence that hasn't happened because life is weird. A good weird.

Develop yourself. Go do that new thing. Make long-lasting friendships. Fail a few times. Pick yourself back up when you fall. Take the helping hand. Let yourself have a wild crush, then let yourself reel it back and take it slowly. Andante andante, just let the feelings grow.

And, it's okay if you find yourself "recessing" back to an old version of yourself sometimes. Damon did that, and sometimes some lessons we just have to relearn until it's habit. Be patient with the process and root for yourself. You won't be celebrating the ending but rather the whole process to get there.

I say all this, because twice, without even being sad, I wept about the past. It wasn't even heartbroken or painful tears but rather my body's release finally letting go. Am I "over it?" Sure. But those events are still a part of why I am the way I am now. I thank those people who hurt me for showing me something I could not have learned on my own.

Now for the future, sure I am super impatient and wish everything I want and where I want to be was all here tomorrow. But honestly, I think the timing of it all happens when we are actually ready to handle it. Delayed gratification. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and so are you.

Be the main character we all grow to love. Flaws and all. Don't forget the popcorn and enjoy everything in-between. Your season finale won't be until you're at your deathbed.

Love,

Simi

*BTW, I think because I did move to Europe, my computer automatically adds the "u" in favourite. LOLOL you can read my blogs with a British accent now!