The Magic of a Coffee Shop

"You never know what people are walking in with, but I always try to leave them better than I found them." - a handsome barista

I dedicate this post to one of my closest friends who's going through a heartbreak right now. It gets better I promise :)

It's a crisp September day, and I step out into the patio of my local coffee shop with my chai latte in one hand and my Nutrition book in the other. I find a seat where the sunshine can hit my back and warm me this chill morning. I close my eyes and smell the sweet and spiced hints of cinnamon in the mug before I take the initial sip.

"Ahhhhh." I smile to myself for the first time in a long time.

The smile fades not long after, and I stare at the empty patio in front of me.

Alone. The wind blows lightly, and I open up my journal. This journal was a gift from a mentor. It had been a late night when we had last talked. We simply sat on the grass and played with her dog.

She told me, "For 90 days, write down what you're thankful for each day."

I did my best to keep up with the journal. Sometimes I would miss a day or two, then I would go back and reflect on those days to remember something I could be thankful for.

I'm thankful for a chai latte on a beautiful September day.

I scribble the words down and continue to write down other thoughts that consumed my head.

Today is the first day that I am finally letting him go. I am choosing to let him go. It is bittersweet. This is how I will love him and myself best.

Every day, I would let the chains of his memory consume me, and almost all of my actions would be dedicated to somehow retrieving what I thought I lost. My brokenness coordinated group hangouts with him and our mutual friends, memorizing his path on campus so I would run into him again, sending him some inside joke we shared or something he likes to maybe get a conversation going, but the efforts were futile.

In the beginning, I cried. Morning was the hardest time of the day. I would wake up. Alone. And before I could think about it, my heartstrings tugged and the tears would spill. My heart was broken into a million pieces, and the weight of each piece weighed to the pit of my stomach. I felt it physically. I cried, "Why? What did I do wrong? What was wrong with me?"

It's been a year now. I took the summer off and went home to let myself heal. I hung out with my best friend from high school almost every day, swam, and talked with my family more. The pain hurt less now, but it took so long before I could finally take the step to truly let go. It is okay though that I took so long, because the first is always the hardest.

The first is where you begin the precedent of what a real, romantic relationship looks like. Not like the ones you read in books or watch in movies. You get to enjoy the day to day development of the feelings. You pick up on their quirks and fall for them more and more. You learn more about yourself. The kind of attachment style you have and how you love and want to be loved in return. You see where you fail at communication. You see where they actually were horrible for you after it's too late. You feel heartbreak for the first time, and it's so bad you wouldn't even wish it upon your worst enemy if you have any.

It hurts so much, because this is a learning curve. No one gets it right the first time. (Unless you are one of those lucky ducks that marry their first boyfriend or girlfriend and stay committed for life... that's cool too).

LOL. I am just putting a photo of a handsome actor to lighten up the post hahahaha. I crack myself up.

I look up momentarily from my work, and I notice him quite quickly. He's tall and wears his hat backwards when he walks into work at the coffee shop. I can't see his face, but the way he carries himself says a lot already. I wonder if he's cute.

By this point, it's late afternoon, and more customers have filled the patio with chatter and other ambient sounds. The tall, cute guy reappears but keeps his eyes low. He is sweeping up the patio and taking back leftover dishes. He's a barista.

I continue to work, and as the sun shines on me, I feel a little better. I am thankful that I dressed cute today.

My stomach rumbles. I forgot about lunch. I contemplate for a moment and grab my wallet.

The attractive barista is leaning over the counter chatting up a female customer. His eyebrows go up when he notices my presence. He moves away from the girl and welcomes me into the shop.

I smile genuinely at him.

I bask in front of the variety of pastries and sandwiches while he waits patiently for me to make a decision.

"How has your day been?"

I break concentration from the delectable foods to look up at him and answer his question.

He has the bluest eyes I had ever seen, and the longest eye lashes to accompany them. (He later tells me in the future that his eyes are his favorite feature on him, because he always gets the most compliments about them).

"Hmmm. I've been here all day working on some homework for the most part. It's been quite peaceful with this weather too."

"Yeah," he smiles with his eyes, "the weather is still a little hot, but I can't wait for it to get cooler."

I return to focusing on the treats behind the glass case and ask him, "What's your favorite item here?"

He looks over the case and points to his favorites, "The chocolate chip cookie is pretty big and good, but I also like the lemon poppy muffin. I can warm it all up for you if you'd like?"

"I'll take the muffin then, and yes, please do warm it up. Thank you!"

As I wait for the muffin, he continues to talk with me. I find out he's from the Midwest too, and that he moved to Texas around the same time that I did. I shockingly discover he is one year younger than me, because I thought he was 24. He admits he thought I was 24 too, but we are just 19 and 20 respectively. We both took French in high school, and he tells me about his solo trip to Europe a while back.

He hands me the muffin, and I thank him.

In truth though, I thanked him for the conversation too. I step back into the patio, and the world looks a little brighter.

This coffee shop is less than 2 miles away from my campus, yet I hadn't visited it very much prior to this day. The last time I came to this coffee shop was a few months before the summer with my ex. We had sat in the back while the shop was still being renovated for the summer season. Our conversation... was awkward as expected. I was trying to hold onto what little of the friendship that had originally been there.

The barista opened my eyes to another world just a short run away from my bubble. It was a simple conversation, but it made a difference in my perspective. My depressed self forgot that a whole world still exists outside of my short time in college. The barista reminded me that I can connect with people near and far, and the prospect of that is kind of exciting.

An accurate picture of me daydreaming.

I ate my muffin and returned to campus. I decided I would return later that week to bring my old roommate from freshman year to catch up (and maybe see the cute barista again).

To my friends who stuck around in my life during one of my darker periods. Thank you. I know I felt that I was burdening you all when we would hangout to socialize, because I would bring up He-who-shall-not-be-named's name. Except, here you all are still in my life reading this romanticized version of how I met Coffee Pot (every crush gets a nickname, and that barista IS Coffee Pot).

Little by little, I let myself have another crush. I let myself find another guy attractive again. I was on the path to healing.

Some months later, I am sitting inside the coffee shop working on some assignments. It is getting late, and I need to get back to campus soon for work. This particular evening, business is slow, and the handsome barista and I make eye contact.

"What are you reading?" I ask him interrupting the instrumental jazz playing in the background.

"It's a book on behavioral psychology of people. Kind of like why people have a tendency to go with one choice over the other. Behavioral Economics."

He moves from behind the counter and sits with me at my table. I am a little surprised, but I welcome his company. He shows me the book and parts he had tabbed to point out the questions on human tendency.

A customer arrives, so he gets up to attend to them.

"See if you can figure those questions out."

I lean over the book and think. I have the answer to two of the three. He sits back down and is impressed.

Maybe it was the soft jazz in the back and the warm glow inside the coffee shop, but time froze for those short minutes we talked.

"You never know what people are walking in with, but I always try to leave them better than I found them." He shares with me when he tells me about his job.

I sit there with my eyes slowly lighting up at his words. It's at that moment I see the magic of the coffee shop. The barista did just that for me. I came still hurting from the breakup, but I left hopeful about the future. I could see the world with another perspective again.

Un cappuccino avec d'amour

Ironically enough, I did end up working at a coffee shop as a barista later that year with the handsome barista. But it was at a different coffee shop from the one we met.

While I worked as a barista, I made new friends and had the opportunity to leave people better than I found them. Surprisingly, my ex actually visited me once while I worked there. It didn't hurt at all. He is engaged now, and I am genuinely happy for him. I actually knew he would eventually marry his fiancee, because I just knew him that well. When I saw her picture, I even said, "This is the girl he's going to marry," even before he proposed.

I also like that I was right LOL.

It's been a journey since then. I laughed, cried, and connected with so many people. I strengthened my old friendships, learned about myself, made new friends with the regulars at the shop, and saw life again with rose colored glasses. I still believe in love.

Falling in love with life and me right now. Having crushes here and there to add some spice and finding meaning to my life which brings happiness.

To my heartbroken and beautiful friend. I see beauty in you and your life. You never burden me, and I can't wait to see you spread your wings and fly. You loved with all your heart, and I think that's absolutely wonderful. Not many are brave enough to give their whole heart and love 110%, and I think that says so much about you. My wish for you, is that you'd find the magic in your life wherever you go. Inside or outside a coffee shop! It's a process, but I can attest that life will still be okay even with the hiccup now.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this different style of blogging I decided to do this time. I wanted to branch out my creative writing skills a little and give insight to why I love coffee shops so much. You really never know who you'll run into :)

Lots of love,

Simi